No "Secret Santa" For Ray. No Way.

 

 

Ray has been ostracised and marginalised again at Clays where he works {NOT for the first time}.

 

This time it is beacause he has boycotted the 'Secret Santa" Club they have going there this year.

 

Ray says why should he spend "Up-To-Five-Pounds" (sterling) on a present he doesn't want to give to a person he doesn't like and who doesn't like him and doesn't want the sort of present Ray would buy for them, at the same time wishing them a "Merry Christmas" through gritted teeth, all in November, when we haven't even started Advent? Ray says this isn't why Jesus came in to the world, God made flesh and all that.

 

He calls the club, "Secret Satan" and now nobody will talk to him or look at him.

 

"Poor Ray," you may be thinking.

 

"Well don't," he says. He prefers it that way.

Queen Letdown

We tuned in to the Jubbilee so-called Concert but were very disappointed by the time it ended. Us Brays pride ourselves on being quite 'down with the kids' and pop pickers {although the hit parade seems full of nothing more than ring tones these days - whatever they are}.

We saw Sir Elton {always a disappointment}, Sir Paul {glad he's settled down and doesn't take any drugs at all} and Sir Cliff {now there's a nice boy. That Marylin Manson could take a leaf or two out of his book}.

We were hoping to see The Queen, as it was clearly advertised that they would be there, but they weren't!!! We especially like that funny one with the false moustache, who does all the dancing.

Well, that's the last Jubillee Concert we will be tuning in to.

And another thing... Is it two 'l's' and one 'b', or two 'bs' and one 'l' or two 'l's' and two 'bb's' or one 'b' and one 'l' or two 'll's' and one 'b' or one b'b' and two 'l's????

We know it's two 'e's'.

And one 'J'.

And wasn't the Coronation in 1953?

No Surprises Here

Suffolk enjoyed an uneventful, if in places noisy, start to 2012 as thousands of people across the county celebrated the start of Olympic year.

A spokeswoman for Suffolk police said officers had had a busy night, but there were no major incidents that they had had to deal with.

Overnight showers are thought to have persuaded many people to remain in indoor parties and to resist the temptation to spill out on to the streets at midnight.
Some people did set off fireworks to mark the start of the new year – but their efforts could not match the 10-minute extravaganza that heralded the New Year on the bank of the River Thames in London.

Insect Disaster

There we were at a children's tea party when a wasp flew right up Fay's frock, stinging her several times, which resulted in Fay running round the garden tearing her dress off and screaming like a banshee, followed by a line of toddlers doing the same, thinking it was a new and exciting party game.
Before too many of the dads could get their so-called 'camera-phones' loaded and firing, Fay managed to make a dash to the kitchen and stand in the sink, pouring jelly and ice cream impregnated washing up water over her rapidly swelling body. Thankfully Ray arrived with un-charactericstic kind and reassuring words, jumped on to the draining board and began smearing her with salt and vinegar crisps.
What and end to the party!
Bees make honey. Wasps make Marmite.

Result Result Result

Well, there's been quite a few developments in the Bray household recently - it isn't all watching the golden channels and wrestling with laundry.
Our triplets have all received their university (or "Uni") degree results
Jay (Media) 1:2
Kay (The History of Clay) 1:2
May (Fashion) 1:2

So, it's a straight 1:2, 1:2, 1:2 for our clever (and passably pretty) girls. Ray's best friend Pete Benjamins says it's like being at a sound check for a Pink Floyd gig, but as usual, we have no idea what he is going on about. Maybe he's been on the Guinness Cocktails!

Jay wants to get a job straight away as she hears there are quite a few openings with News International (whoever they are). We think she should work her way up and perhaps start as a cub-ette reporter on the Bungay Bugle or even Earsham Exagerator.
Kay is going to apply to do and M.A. in The History of Clay. That should come in handy round Bungay way one day.
May has taken a 'gap month' in Australia of all places to study original, aboriginal and unoriginal fashion.

We would be proud, but pride is a deadly sin. Nonetheless, yesterday Ray brought home a two litre bottle of Lambrini and we drank a toast to our girls until the room seemed to be spinning. It couldn't have been, of course.

A Birthday Telephone Call From Abottabad (Not A Made Up Place)

It was Ray's birthday on Monday, 2nd May and would you believe it, we received not one but TWO calls from our son, Peter! The news is that he got out of Libya {thank goodness} and is now in Pakistan of all places, staying with an apparently very nice family in a place called Abbottabad of all places. It sounds like a made-up name to us, but Peter whispered it is a true place and he had to whisper as the old gentleman he is staying with doesn't like anyone using mobile phones in his house. It must be their culture out there. We will Goggle 'Abbottabad' when we get the chance and find out what it's like there {unless any of our so-called 'followers' beat us to it}.

Anyway, Peter didn't stay on the line long, but did wish his Dad a happy birthday, which made his day.

Later on, just as we were settling down to our Bank Holiday Monday viewing, the phone went again and it was Peter again, this time shouting, with all fireworks going off in the background. We suppose they were still celebrating the Royal Wedding in their way. We couldn't hear quite what Peter was saying, but were fairly pleased that he had rung again, even though he had nearly disturbed our Bank Holiday Monday viewing. Some people have said that we don't really like our son Peter, and in some ways, they may be right, but really and truly a parent's love can never die, even for a child who has at times been so inconsiderate and spiteful to his parents like Peter has to us.

Pancakes!! Yippee!!

It's "Pancake Day" (or "Mardi Gras" as they say abroad. It means "Fat Tuesday" in French. Why - nobody knows!! Funny how it always co-incides with our "Pancake Day").

Well, tonight we had a "Pancake Extravaganza".
For starters, Seafood Pancakes
For mains, "Pancake Italienne" ( 8 pancakes filled with Bolognese Sauce for that Continental Twist!)
For pud, Pancakes.

As a special treat I'm going to slip in to my Brazillian outfit I made for the Bungay Carnival in 1997 and give Ray a showtime to remember. I haven't done my Brazillian dance since last Pancake Day/Mardi Gras, when my feathers got caught in our light fitting, plunging the house into darkness.
Ay-ee! Musica!

TTFN
Fay XX

An Exotic Cocktail Recipe

Ray's old friend, Peter Benjamins turned up out of the blue last night. Ray always called him 'Pete' for short. It's not his real name, but he doesn't mind and thinks it is a bit of fun. He calls Ray, 'Raymondo' and me 'Wa-Hay'. Those aren't our real names. We wish he would call us 'Ray' and 'Fay' like everyone else (but not always in that order - most people say 'Fay' and 'Ray'. Ladies first!! But 'Pete' will insist on his bit of fun, and who are we to stand in his way!

'Pete' shared his favourite cocktail recipe with Ray. (I didn't have any - I'm off cocktails). It's unusual in that it's a Guinness Cocktail. Here's the recipe:

Ingredients:
Guinness ('Pete' usually allows ten to twelve tins or bottles per person)

Method:
Open the tin or bottle of Guinness (whatever you have) Pour carefully into a glass. There! A Guinness Cocktail for you to enjoy. Repeat until speechless.

TTFN

Fay XX

Well?

"Happy New Year".

What's "New" about it? It happens every year.

Free At Last

Wonderful news for 2011!

Fay today found out she has been let off with a caution by Essex Police (aren't they wonderful!!) following her yellow paint/monkey-faux-pas at Colchester Zoo. She has received a lifetime ban from The Zoo though, but we hope to appeal when the dust settles a bit. Needless to say Liz is keeping her head down - as usual when there's trouble about, especially when she usually causes it all.

So, normal sleep patterns have resumed at The Bray Household, and Fay triumphed again in the bedroom games "Guess The Time" event we so cleverly invented.

Last night Fay guessed 23:56 and Ray 00:48 when it was 23:44
Then Fay guessed 02:18 and Ray 01:32 when it was 02:07
Then Fay guessed 04:15 and Ray 06:30 when it was 03:59
Then Fay guessed 05:32 and Ray "Blinking Christmas Morning" when it was 05:29.