Fay and Ray are committed Christians and go to church every Sunday at Easter and Christmas, but they don’t like it much because of the people.

Fay does a lot of voluntary work and Ray contributes to environmental concerns. He is a shareholder in a South American deforestation project. There’s enough rain without rain forests making more.

They have adopted a red-faced spider monkey in Colchester Zoo. He’s called Zombie.

Monday, 1 November 2010

Meat Crisis


Fay has a Meat Crisis.

Why do we call pig pork?
Why do we call cow beef?
Why do we call sheep mutton?
Why do we call lamb lamb?
Why do we call birds poultry?
Why do we call insides offal?
Why do we call stomach tripe?
Why do we call t*sticles sweetbreads?
Why do we call beefburgers hamburgers?
Why do we call beefburgers with cheese cheeseburgers?
Why do we call sausages sausages?
Why do we call lungs lights?
Why do we call baloons full of boiled congealed blood black pudding?

To help calm herself down, Fay made some delicious squirrel broth. Here's the recipe:

1 squirrel (diced)
some vegetables
2 pints water
salt
pepper

Put the squirrel, vegetables, and water in a saucepan.
Bring to the boil. Simmer for one hour. Add salt and pepper.
There! Delicious squirrel broth for these Autumn nights.
If you keep the eyes in, it will see you all through the week.

You can sometimes find your squirrel behind a radiator. They put babies down there.




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1 comment:

  1. Anonymous3 November 2010 at 20:26

    To be read with a Manchester accent...

    Oooo Fay what a lovely recipe - it has taken me back years to when me and Ray were kids, playing in t road, hee, footie and the such like and a little bit of robbery ofcourse, on the posh estate. We would NEVER have took from our own.
    See you right soon my love. Yours as ever
    Lolita Bray from Bungay way. (Ray's sis)

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