Then, we employed a small builder, who specialised in small jobs to attend to some tiling in 'The Smallest Room In The House'. Unfortunately, he took the opportunity to tell Fay - in some considerable and unecessary detail - all about his recent vasectomy operation. Fay was extremely upset by these revelations, so much so that she telephoned 999 and insisted the police arrest the verbose builder on a charge of unrequested sexual harrassment. the so-called operater told her there was a) no such offence b) it was not a police emergency and c) she should "calm down and make a cup of tea".
Fay disagreed.
After her tenth call to the 999 service the police did in fact arrive and after what was an unpleasant altercation in the front garden, Fay was arrested and charged with "behaviour likely to cause a breach of the peace".
Naturally, our sleep patterns have been disrupted ever since and the matter has not been helped by an unwelcome contribution from Fay's so-called friend, Liz to the effect that the Government are considering mixed-sex prisons. The upshot is that Fay has gone from being terrified of incarceration in solitary confinement, to having to share a cell with a Hell's Angel called Moose. The shrieks as she wakes from her fitful sleeps have to be heard to be believed.
Is there ANYONE on this Internet of a 'Legal Eagle' disposition who can give Fay some (free) reassurance that she will not be imprisoned on a first offence?
Meanwhile, I have just one piece of advice for Liz, namely, It's not OK to upset Fay Bray on any day, so stay away, OK?
Ray Bray
I feel for Fay, these builders are in need of a form of release from their obviously very bland jobs and should seek some alternative form of counselling service for their personal issues other than timid house wives!
ReplyDeleteFay my thoughts are with you in this tough time.
Poor old Fay, still, I thought BB King was from Basildon.
ReplyDeleteSurely BB King is the bloke who won Big Brother?
ReplyDelete